Mom blog, Mom life, Toddler Life

Stay at Home Mom’s Don’t Contribute to Society??

I’m a full-time working mom. I’m an Office Manager of a very upscale dental office. I’m great with numbers, insurance claims, and calming people down about the doom that is their impending root canal.

Unfortunately, while I like what I do, I don’t want to be doing it (I’m working on becoming a part-time or all-the-time Stay at Home Mom).

I always thought being a mom, especially one that could stay home and raise her children full-time, was the biggest definition of success.

That’s why it caught me off guard when one of the doctors at my job told me if I didn’t choose to go back to work after maternity leave, I wouldn’t be contributing to society.

Um … what? Did this mom of 3 just say that out loud?

I didn’t have a chance to rebut because the office was busier than Grand Central Station.

My mom was a stay at home mom. Not by choice, but because she was permanently disabled after a picnic table was thrown at her by a mentally disabled patient at her job.

She loved her job. She wanted to work. She didn’t want to get hurt.

Yet, it was a great blessing in disguise. She was my Girl Scout leader and brought us all camping in the woods. She was at every one of my volleyball games. She spent the summers with my brother and I at the beach.

She did MORE than contribute to society. She was there to raise two kick ass children. Two children who are loving and caring and empathetic. Two children who donate their time and money to charitable causes because we were taught that helping others is the right thing to do.

Success and “contributing to society” does not mean being a doctor (or dentist). Success does not mean being a millionaire. Success (to some) doesn’t even mean being a parent. Success is different to everyone.

So if I decide to give up my career to be with my daughter, I feel in my heart that what I’m doing goes far deeper than selling my soul to the 9-5 grind.

Good job to all the working moms… Applause to all the stay at home moms… Good job to all the non-parents…

No matter how you spend YOUR time, spend it the way you want…

and not how society wants you to spend it…

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48 thoughts on “Stay at Home Mom’s Don’t Contribute to Society??”

  1. I think the push back on the misogynist culture has caused so many to believe that raising a child isn’t commendable or valuable work compared to being in the workplace. It’s crazy! Women and men should be able to choose what is most comfortable and the best solution for their family. Everyone has opinions, but it’s so unfair when others expect you to do what they think is right!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think part-time momming/working is where it’s at! I love working at my job still, but I don’t want to be there M-F while I have little kids. I started doing health & wellness coaching right now so that when I finish my master’s degree, I can delve even deeper into coaching and financially contribute still without working so many hours at my “real” job. I definitely don’t think work is the only way to contribute to society, but now that I’ve been a SAHM, I do feel like I am a much more productive member of society when I’m working, haha. And that’s not to knock SAHM at all because I know people love it, but I don’t think that’s where it’s at for me, personally!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a good perspective! I would love to work part time. Gives such a perfect mix of work and play and allows you to raise the kids while being a part of something that stimulates your brain in other ways. I am definitely working on trying to do that. Good luck with your masters!!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow!! I love the dental practice side of things, but so much stress- as I’m sure you know. I definitely want to follow your path.. just have to figure out a few things! But definitely don’t think I’ll miss it too much!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think I’m in the opposite boat here. Everyone in my life is unwaveringly supportive of me staying at home. My mother, an actual bra-burner in the 70s, worked 10-12 hour shifts every day, then came home and “rested her eyes” on the couch most nights. She tells me all the time how great it is I am home with my kids. She thinks I am sacrificing myself to make the world better through my kids, or something. But I struggle with staying home. I worry I’m not very good at it. I think momming is just hard, no matter what choice you make. Anyway, thanks for the follow!

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  4. I used to work full time before my second son was born. I was actually the bread winner at the time. I heard the craziest things about full time working moms and moms that stayed home. It is so sad that people put each other down. Being a woman, and being a mom are both hard. However, now having stayed home for 14 years, I know that my calling for this season was to raise 3 children to be productive members of society. That is quite a job and one that I am proud of!

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  5. I feel like moms have to stick together, let’s not let artificial categories divide us. Stay at home moms, working from home moms, working outside the home moms. It takes a village of all of us, so we should ban together and appreciate each other. Without stay at home moms who do homework, my kids’ classroom would be way more disorganized which might stress out my child. Without working moms, restaurants and banks and doctors’ offices won’t be open. Let’s appreciate each other and be stronger together!

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  6. I’m a SAHM with a small biz… just gave up my full time job last month, to take care of my daughter. SAHM mold children and hopefully they become productive and effective members of society. I think that’s our best contribution to society. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I stayed home with my kids while working part time in the evening. My wife has a Ph.D., and had a lot more potential to support the family. I had no idea how to raise children, but learned as I went along. As a man I had no support system, but my wife was great at discussing problems and help us come up with strategies. We felt that we were doing our most important work when we helped our children grow up to be loving adults. I feel blessed that I got the rare chance to be with my kids so much.

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  8. My wife laurel is a stay at home mom! She has had her share of , well, hmmm, unkindness. In the end , she has a very strong supportive community, starting with the most important, her husband and children! You will do great and everything will work out well!! And that child of yours will thank you for it one day!! Stay strong and thanks for the follow of my blog today!!

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  9. OMG this is so maddening. I had a mother recently not remember that I watched her children for an entire Christmas break while she worked! I did so much for all of the working mothers. Thank goodness someone was around to take care of the kids and I mean all of the kids in my neighborhood. I remember working mothers calling for playdates. They thought they were playdates when they worked and I had their kids at my house. This was actually unpaid baby sitting. Not that I minded. I loved all of the kids and thought it was a blast. But playdates are reciprocated in case the working mothers don’t know that. And that doesn’t mean on weekends when you all get together for dinner and you are supervising your own children at their home. When another woman is watching your kids and you are working that is babysitting. Sorry, this hit a nerve.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m sorry that your colleague said that to you. I think this is one of those cases where what was said was a reflection of an issue that woman was struggling with rather than a reflection on your decision or life. It’s too bad she’s feeling that guilt, and I hope by being true to yourself you can show her how it’s done!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great blog! I couldn’t agree more with what success means to each individual person. Unfortunately we live in a very judgemental world, there’s no right or wrong just whatever is suitable for each family. And thanks for the follow! I’m just getting started 😀 Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Haha wow her comment sounds so ignorant and I am a working mom too! SAHM are one of the most vital contributors to society ever and her job is one of the hardest jobs out there. Sad for this one woman thinking so narrow minded.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Haha wow her comment sounds so ignorant and I am a working mom too! SAHM are one of the most vital contributors to society ever and her job is one of the hardest jobs out there. Sad for this one woman thinking so narrow minded.i hope your dreams come true!

    Liked by 1 person

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